Russians 'attacking Greggs instead of nuclear war' as Brits bemoan lack of sausage rolls

20 Mar 2024

Daily Star

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Russians attacking Greggs instead of nuclear war as Brits bemoan lack of
sausage rolls

Greggs has confirmed the issue, but made no mention of the alleged role of Vladimir Putin in starving the United Kingdom of its beloved pasties and sausage rolls

Brits have claimed that Vladimir Putin and the Kremlin are behind a series of tech glitches affecting UK supermarkets and food chains, as some say the 'cyber attack' on Greggs is akin to nuclear war.

Customers across the country are complaining because their local Greggs is closed, with reports that sites in Newcastle, Cardiff, London and Manchester have had to shut their doors. It comes after McDonald’s, Sainsbury’s, Argos, and Tesco all suffered huge tech issues over the past week.

Greggs has confirmed the issue, however it isn't clear how many shops have been affected and which ones are closed. A spokesperson said: "We are currently experiencing issues accepting payments in our shops. We are working to resolve this as soon as possible."

READ MORE: Greggs shut by glitch as Brits lose their minds and claim 'country is f****d'

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Naturally, the issue has sent sausage roll and pastie fans into meltdown. And, perhaps less expectedly, the Kremlin is getting the blame. Despite constant threats to obliterate the West with nukes, his illegal war in Ukraine and his general penchant for conflict, this is where Brits have drawn the line with Putin.

People, bemused and hungry, wander around outside a Greggs store in London earlier today (Image: PA)

"Not Greggs!!! God them Russians better leave my Mexican baguettes alone, absolute brutes!" a bloke called Dan wrote on X, formerly Twitter.

Another bloke, called Glen Mitchell, took it one step further as he mentioned nuclear war with Russia.

He wrote: "After McDonalds and Sainsbury’s now Greggs is having an IT glitch preventing some stores from serving customers.

"We expect the greatest threat to the UK to be a nuclear attack but in reality it’s Russia etc taking down our ability to buy food. Look at when KFC ran out of chicken."

Something Brits have seen markedly less of today - Greggs sausage rolls (Stock) (Image: Bloomberg via Getty Images)

Another person, called Iris P, added that there is an "odd pattern" with the various tech glitches of late.

She said: "Odd pattern here. Are Greggs so essential that the Russians think it worth a cyber attack? Let's hope Waitrose remains safe."

Henri asked who the Russians will target next. He said: "First Tescos and Sainsbury’s. Then Greggs. What are the Russians going to come for next - Spoons? Outrage."

Jake Thorne asked whether the various tech glitches at top companies was a "conspiracy to make sure cash remains the staple means of trade".

Jilted construction workers read a sign on a Greggs window in London telling them that it's a no go (Image: PA)

The Kremlin is yet to claim the attack on Greggs. Despite it being unlikely the Putin et al was behind the tech issues, it is not unlikely that hacker groups from Russia would attack the UK.

Gloucester City Council was attacked by Russian hackers after an innocent-looking email turned out to be something much more sinister.

On December 20, 2021, having expected to receive a message from a supplier, the workers were fooled as the email contained a "dangerous payload" which slithered past their defence systems and infected the network.

In February, Professor Anthony Glees told the Daily Star that Russia's plan would see hackers attempt to "take out" command centres across the UK with cyber attacks.

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