The demolition of Grenfell Tower could mean that the injustice of the fatal fire is “put out of sight and out of mind” and forgotten, some survivors have said.

The deputy prime minister, Angela Rayner, told members of the community that the 24-storey block in which 72 people were killed in June 2017 would be dismantled to ground level, during a meeting on Wednesday and in writing. The decision has prompted anger and claims that the government has failed to listen to the views of the bereaved and survivors.

The Grenfell United group said it was “disgraceful and unforgivable” that the voices of the bereaved had been ignored. The group, which represents some bereaved and survivors, said it appeared from the meeting that no one supported Rayner’s decision.

The Guardian understands work will not start before or around the eighth anniversary of the fire. Officials have indicated they will consider using elements of the tower in a memorial.

Government sources said they sought to make a swift decision owing to safety fears over the fact the tower is degrading over time.

The final report of the Grenfell Tower inquiry, published in September, concluded the disaster was a result of “decades of failure” by central government to stop the spread of combustible cladding, combined with the “systematic dishonesty” of multimillion-dollar companies whose products spread the fire.

Maryam Adam, who was three months pregnant when she escaped the inferno that started in her neighbour’s fourth-floor flat, said she wanted the high-rise to remain to serve as a permanent reminder to those responsible.

Police and prosecutors have previously said investigators would need until the end of 2025 to complete their inquiry, with final decisions on potential criminal charges by the end of 2026.

Adam said: “I don’t want that building to be destroyed but at the same time, also, I don’t want to keep it like how it looks like now. I want it to teach anyone who had a hand in that day for what happened to us and what we lost, all those people, do not forget … I want that building to stand.”

The government has previously said structural engineering advice was that “the building (or that part of it that was significantly damaged) should be carefully taken down”.

Emma O’Connor, who escaped from the 20th floor, said there had been hope among some that part of the tower could be retained.

She told BBC Radio 4’s Today programme: “If it’s really unstable then it should be taken down from the top to the 10th floor, which they say is the most unstable, so it then can be erected into a standing memorial. To me, it just seems like if it’s out of sight, it’s definitely out of mind for the people that are actually responsible for the lack of respect to human beings.”

She added that the group’s questions were not answered at Wednesday’s meeting. She said: “We had three questions at a time and then they would reply back to us, but they’re not answering questions, they’re not saying if the decision is reversible, to actually make sure that something can be erected at a height, to have a standing memorial.”

A spokesperson for Grenfell Next of Kin, a group representing some bereaved families, said that while the decision was “deeply sensitive”, families “understand the hard facts around safety”.

In a statement online, the group added: “The structural issues have informed our position as next of kin. This is an uncomfortable conversation with uncomfortable truths at its heart.”

Grenfell United said the meeting showed how upset the bereaved and survivors were. “Ignoring the voices of bereaved on the future of our loved ones’ gravesite is disgraceful and unforgivable,” it said.

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