TF Player Ratings Man Utd 3-2 Newcastle Utd True Faith

Dúbravka – 5. I  don’t understand. I mean, really don’t understand. He makes good saves, keeps us in matches plenty of times. But he lacks presence, stature, authority. There were a couple of hesitant moments that were symptomatic of that, and it felt like he could have done better for the third. Which might be very unfair of me, but there you go – these are my ratings.

Hall – 6.5. I thought he did a decent job. Certainly most of the bother came down the other flank and he pushed on well in possession. An extra half point for the goal (not “a half pint for the fish”, which my autocorrect just tried to write, but maybe that too).

Krafth – 6. I like Emil. Not so much a Rolls Royce of a defender as a Volvo. Sensible, reliable, unsexy. Does the job even if he’s not very aerodynamic. Oh and Swedish, obviously. Also plugged the gaps at right back after an hour, which rather showed his comparative worth.

Burn – 6.5. Did he have the header cleared off the line? Hope so, as I’ve given him another half pint fish for that. I don’t think we lost because of anything he did. Must be glad to be out of the full-back firing line.

Trippier – 4. Speaking of which… Oh dear. For the first half hour I wondered who was playing right back. The player who sets our rhythm, the conductor through whom everything goes, the full back whose starting position is so far forward he’s positively presumptuous? Apparently not. Instead, he’d been replaced by a hesitant, cautious ingénue. And then there’s the opening goal which is nothing other than a horrible individual mistake and not for the first time this season. Was also daydreaming to give away the corner for the second. Cometh the hour, leaveth the man, to the bench.

Anderson – 5. I just don’t think he’s very good. Sorry. Here was a chance (again) to show his worth against a poor midfield on a big stage, but he made no difference (again). Harsh, I know, given his injuries this season and his age, but you don’t get points on here just for being a local lad we hope will come good.

Bruno – 6. Not his worst showing, not his best. Head and shoulders above the rest of the mediocrity in midfield, but ultimately unable to change a game that was there for the taking. £100m should buy you more than that.

Longstaff – 5. See Anderson. Plus he missed a golden chance.

Gordon – 7. Our main threat and best player by far. Should have had a(nother) pen as well as getting the equaliser. Riled the (non) locals by being a Scouser, which is good enough for me.

Isak – 5. Some of our players aren’t really good enough (see below), but this guy is a superstar. If he’d been on his game, Evans and the Brazilian Elvis would have been toast. But he wasn’t. In fact he was curiously rubbish  Put in on goal at the end of a three-on-one when we were in the ascendancy but fluffed it. Harsh to say, but his poor game was the difference between winning and losing. And I only say that because he’s so much better than this.

Murphy – 4.5. Crap. Even with an assist.

Substitutes

Joelinton – 7. Presence, physicality, a bullying force. If only we’d had that from the beginning.

Schär – 6. Reminded us of the option he gives with a ball from the back and that we missed without him. Also spared Tripps further humiliation by coming on, which was nice of him.

Almirón – 6. Ran around a bit. As always. Didn’t impact the scoreline. As always.

Barnes – 5. Why spend that amount of money on a player you don’t seem to trust? No idea. See also Lewis Hall. Strange.

Man United – minus 5,824,371. I just fucking hate them. Beyond words. Beyond all rational thought. Fucking hate them. Imagine having to sit amongst them. Sadly, I didn’t have to imagine it.

Matthew Philpotts