I drove into the M25 closure — would my marriage survive?

Cruising leisurely towards the southwest area of the M25, I feel like an old-timey daredevil in a barrel, bobbing gently along the river, knowing that at some point I’m going over the Niagara Falls.

For the first time in its history, a five-mile section of the M25 is closed for improvements, diverting a predicted 6,000 vehicles an hour, including mine, on to single carriageway A-roads. Almost gleeful anticipatory press coverage (don’t we just adore travel drama in Britain?) has flung around words like “chaos”, “horrific” and “carmageddon”.

National Highways’ senior project manager, Jonathan Wade, advised, in very British fashion, to avoid travel and instead to “find home projects like redecorating the bathroom or something”.

Well, I hate DIY, so I’ve decided to ignore that and