The Alternate Game Awards 2021 - stupid awards for a daft industry

The Game Awards are fantastic and it’s nice to know who made the best RPG or whatever else each year. Almost as nice as the shiny new trailers and upcoming game reveals. Almost as nice as the Hideo Kojima cameos. Almost. 

But what about the unsung heroes and villains – the games, people and moments that defined 2021 outside of the obvious categories? We’ve got you covered with the Alternate Game Awards 2021. 

Without further ado, here are this year’s winners.

Can I Copy Your Homework?

Fortnite is one of the biggest entertainment platforms in the world. It’s had collaborations with Marvel, Ariana Grande, Star Wars and plenty more besides. If you’d seen it at launch – back when it was a co-op wave defense shooter – you’d never have seen it coming. Epic Games saw the success of PUBG and made its own battle royale mode before quickly surpassing that game in popularity, helped along by the smart decision to make it free-to-play. 

These days, it’s a behemoth, but some habits die hard. As well as allegedly copying dance moves from artists, Fortnite introduced a new mode in 2021 called Impostors. Clearly inspired by indie hit Among Us, it took a wave of social media backlash before Fortnite even acknowledged the mode’s inspirations. We should have called this one the “Cheeky Git” award. 

Oh No, His Ego Was Warranted

“It’s going to be the best game ever,” he said. “If you don’t like the game, you can break my arms and my legs.” I’m paraphrasing, but these are essentially statements made by Josef Fares, the game director behind It Takes Two, a man with an ego so big that it could spin the Earth off its axis. The problem is, he was kind of right. It Takes Two is easily one of the best games of 2021. Goddamn. 

Funding Jeff Bezos’ Fourth Space Rocket

If you play New World, you’re doing a good deed – helping one of the world’s richest men achieve his dream of having more money.

Best U-turn

At one point this year, Sony was planning to close the PlayStation 3 and PS Vita stores for good. Not only would this mean people weren’t able to buy games for the older machines easily anymore, but it also put a strain on indie developers who were still creating games for Sony’s handheld console. Luckily, Sony saw sense and reversed the decision after seeing the online reaction to the news.

Would Have Been Better With a Shotgun

The Medium would have been better with a shotgun, that’s just science. Instead, we got insta-fail stealth sections where you have to stand in a specific spot and wait for the monster to pass. Sure, it’s a game that exists mostly for the story, but that story is about as enjoyable as an anal fissure.

Time is a Lie

This award goes to none other than the brilliant Hitman 3, a game that reminds us that time is illusory. Snubbed at the actual Game Awards, Hitman 3 deserved better. It’s fitting in a way that, despite being incredible, the game somehow managed to blend in among the crowd in a pretty underwhelming year for triple-A games.

You Made That Game Again

This award goes to Far Cry 6, which is certainly another Far Cry game in the template created by Far Cry 3. A map so full of icons that it makes you dizzy? Check. Whacky characters who straddle the line between cringe and endearing? Checky. Side activities that you need to repeat 100 times? Checky check. A bit where you set fire to a field as licensed music plays? Checkedy check check. A memorable villain stealing the show? Check check check. Tiny birds that are weirdly aggressive and can kill you faster than a barrage of machine-gun fire? Chick.

I Wish You Were Deus Ex, But I Still Love You

This illustrious award goes to Guardians of the Galaxy, a game nobody wanted that turned out to be one of the biggest surprises of the year. If you’re looking for a fun romp with great characters, gorgeous art and brilliant writing, you can’t go wrong with this. Still, I can’t help but pine for the Deus Ex game that died so this could live.

Best Reflective Eyeballs

Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart is a game about going into photo mode, zooming in really close to a character’s eyeballs and going “whoa” as you see the world reflected in them. You don’t need to know anything else – that’s the entire game.

Best Anime Game

Rick & Morty in Fortnite.

Flogging a Dead Horse

Marvel’s Avengers was dead on arrival, but the poor developers are still going at it. The game just got Spider-Man on PlayStation and still, nobody cares. It’s a bit of a Thor subject.

Where’s the Rest?

Halo Infinite is good – great, even. But it released a full year later than planned, and the free-to-play multiplayer came out before the campaign. Now we’re told that co-op will arrive months after that. Halo, is it me you’re looking for?

Worst Villain

This award goes to Activision Blizzard’s Bobby Kotick, a CEO who doesn’t know when it’s time to resign.

Written by Kirk McKeand on behalf of GLHF.

GLHF, The Game Awards, Video Games, Video Games